Seriously, this stuff really happens!

I seriously DON'T get how someone could be pregnant for nine plus months and not know it.

In honor of the new year, here is a link you can't miss:


http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2007/12/31/or.mcdonalds.baby.birth.koin

My Clementines...

Big D and I are obsessed with clementines. They are so good...the perfect amount of sweet, tart, and puckery. But there is an art to picking the perfect clementine. You've really got to pick it up and feel it out.
But my number one prereq is that the clementine must have the stem and leaves. It just makes the whole fruit feel more organic and wholesome.
So, you've got to imagine my dismay when I went with Big D to Whole Foods to pick out some clementines. He picked up the fruit, with the gorgeous stem and leaves still attached, and then he started plucking them off.

Me: "What are you doing? Those are the best Clementines."
Big D: "Oh, no. I'm putting the clemetines in the bag, I'm just taking off all of the extra stuff."
Me: "Why would you do that? That's what makes the clementine.
Big D: "No, all that makes is extra weight. When you pay by the pound you take off the extras."


For the record, I still keep the stems and leaves on my clementines. They are worth their weight in gold....kind of.

Date Night

Big D got a great new consulting gig, so we decided to have a date night in his honor.
Plans?
I really wanted to see "Juno," but Big D didn't think we could really celebrate if we were watching a movie.
Plan B: Big D is a teetotaler. So, no movie...no drinks...what kind of a date did he have in mind? Luckily, I can hold my own. I thought margaritas on Main Street would be fun. We walked into Lula's. A fun place, good vibe and all. But, then I just knew that we had to walk right back out.
Lots of families, highchairs galore. At eight thirty on our date night?
Heck NO!
We walked down the block to an Irish Pub. That's more like it. A big glass of Guinness and a Ginger Ale.
Life is good.

Dinos and Armored Cars...

Jam has been asking a ton of questions lately. I’m always fascinated when he doesn’t question my answers.
Because I am Mom, I must know everything. I can usually wing it, but sometimes, I quickly revert to the quick go to "ask Daddy."

This morning we were reading a book about dinosaurs. The dinosaurs were all grouped into different categories but Jam was most fascinated by the dinosaurs that had spiny shells for protection. First he asked me what the shells were for.

I explained that they protected the dinosaurs like armor. He remembered that a couple of days back we had talked about armored cars. When he asked me if the shell protected the dinosaur like armor protects a car, I was pretty darn impressed.

Maybe this kid actually does listen. I was about ready to turn the page, but not before one last look at his spiky dino. I decided to make myself feel extra good that all of my hard work was finally paying off.

"So Jam, some dinosaurs have shells. Why?" He looked at me with those big, beautiful, sage eyes and said "to protect the money."

Yea, I guess that I never saw it that way before, bud.

Forgetful

I have been seriously forgetful lately. I mean, not your garden variety forgetful. But forgetting where I put lots of important things like my Blackberry (found it in the trash next to the Seventh Generations), my keys (still haven't found them), those little appointment cards from the doctor, and kids at carpool.
Seriously.
It got so bad that I went to my doctor and had some blood work done. Darn me! Everything came back fine. I'm stressed, he tells me. I've got a lot on my plate. So, I started taking a multivitamin.
There is something about a vitamin that is very reassuring. It's like you know that the horse pill (did I mention the sheer size of these things?) has got your back. There has got to be something in there that goes to just the right place in your body to get things back on track.
Now if only I could remember to take the darn pill, oh, and also where I put the jar.

Mudd and the Mess

Children learn so much by just watching us participate in activities and chores that we may consider thoughtless and mind numbing. Chores like cleaning the windows, for example. Mudd loves to watch me clean the windows. Costco has this fabulous window cleaner that you apply much like a can of hairspray. An aerosol window cleaner... I'm telling you, my windows have never looked cleaner.
Mudd watches me clean those windows and I know he is just itching to participate. But I really don't want him to get too comfortable around cleaning supplies so I tell him that he's just a little too little to do windows. But I know he doesn't like that answer.
Today Baby Wiz was crying and I stepped into the other room for a quick second to grab the babe. Mudd was happily playing with cars in the den so I figured that all was quiet on the eastern front. Maybe a little too quiet...
When I came back in with Baby Wiz, Mudd was wiping the windows clean (or shall I say dirty?) with PAM. The cleaning supplies were locked up, but not the cooking spray.
Do you want fries with that?

Mudd's Haircut and Momma's Regrets

Mudd has always been known for his beautiful curly blonde mop. It was pretty much a trademark. Notice the past tense. Big D said that the hair was always getting in Mudd's eyes....
This poor second child was given a "trim" by daddy of his bangs that made my precious boy look like Jim Carrey in Dumb and Dumber. It was BAD.
I tried to let Mudd grow into the mullet (business in the front, party in the rear!) but it just didn't seem fair. So, we decided to give him a real haircut. But, perhaps we got carried away and now we've got a marine on our hands.
I wish that I didn't regret the decision, but I SO do. How long does hair take to grow back anyway?

Holiday Spirit

We were at this fabulous outdoor mall because it was a glorious, albeit chilly (a crisp sixty five) day. I picked Jam up from school and decided to run a few errands while the little ones slept soundly at home with the sitter. I knew I was feeding into Jam's Christmas spirit, but I figured with Hanukkah over, more holiday fun couldn't hurt anyone. I told him before we parked that we were going to run errands and we weren't picking up any toys. He was a real sport about it. After eight days of gifts, even he knew that he was completely oversaturated with the "I want it, I need it, I love it" toys of the moment (or minute, or worse even!) He wanted to play at Pottery Barn. They've got a clever little table of firehouses and dollhouses to wrangle all the kiddos and then let them know that "all this could be yours!" Jam was inching over to a kiddy table and chairs that was partially occupied by a bossy girl in Juicy and her equally subservient friend. "Put this here, do this, like this." I knew that Jam was in for some trouble. He brought a blender (wooden, no noise) over to the empty part of the table and very quietly began playing. This little chick grabbed the blender and said "no, no, no, this doesn't belong here." I hate intervening because it is important for children to learn lessons on their own, but Jam looked so forlorn. "Excuse me," I said to Juicy "but we can make room at the table for the blender because you need a blender to cook, don't you?" She paused and then said "I guess so." So, Jam sat back down and was happy as a clam. Where was Juicy's mom? Right next to me watching the entire thing. Figures.....

The Holiday Season...bring it!

It's official. My son is obsessed with Christmas. You've got to admit. The tree, the lights, the wreath, the shimmer, not to mention a jolly fat man and his reindeer. There is just one slight problem. We're Jewish. Jam has been bugging me incessantly to set up the tree. "Today, mommy? Are we getting the tree today?" What follows is an explanation to the effect of "although we don't have a tree, we have this great holiday with lots of lights and toys, did I mention toys?" But he's not budging. Hanukkah has become this great big consolation prize, and Jam ain't happy. The day before Hanukkahh, we went to the market to buy Hanukkah cookies and the wonderful man that manages the bakery at Albertsons informed us that the Hanukkah cookies are due to arrive around Christmas time. But, "Hanukkah is tomorrow," we politely informed him. His reply? "We do have some nice kosher Christmas cookies, though." I went to check out the kosher selection. Wouldn't you know it? A sparkly Santa, a glittery tree, and hopping reindeer that all the nice observant Jewish boys and girls could eat because they are sporting a big Orthodox Union Kosher certification. Go, Maccabees! As for Jam, when he asked me for a tree yet again, I explained that he got some great gifts for Hanukkah. To which he said "But Santa forgot to bring a tree." Oy, we've got some work to do.